I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
