found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
