i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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