I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
