yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
