Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
operation have a gay friend backfired
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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