so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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