you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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