i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Randomize
