Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Boobs speak an international language.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
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