at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
