I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
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