He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize
