I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
