I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
