Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
