Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
