Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
