Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
