Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize