Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize