Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
