Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
