I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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