they need to just BURY HIM!
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Randomize
