I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
