..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Randomize
