I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
