Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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