she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Randomize
