so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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