seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
