You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize