I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
