I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
he told me I talked like a deaf person
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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