I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
