If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
