oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
