I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I have aggressive nipples.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
