'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
