Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
