You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
