WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
