From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Randomize
