toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
