We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Randomize
