ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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