TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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