No awkward lesbian experiences without me
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
