Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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