i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
