woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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