WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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