Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Randomize
