I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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