i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Dick very happy bro
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