Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
