that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
