3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I think I am morally bankrupt
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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