help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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