I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Maybe he injected his testicle?
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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