They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
