Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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