Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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