Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
dude. I can hear the air.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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