Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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