How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize