seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
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