bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
